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By Dina Tulli Davis, CPC, Certified Life Purpose Coach
There comes a point in life when something starts to feel off. You’re doing your life. You’re showing up. From the outside, everything might even look good. But inside… there’s something else stirring… a thought, a feeling, or a quiet nudge that says, This isn’t fully me. That feeling isn’t random. It’s you trying to find your way back to your own frequency.
What Your Frequency Really Is
Your frequency is what makes you YOU! It’s your natural way of being. Your energy. Your truth. The part of you that exists underneath everything you’ve been taught, expected to be, or told you were.
It’s not something you create. It’s something you locate.
And, most people don’t lose it; they just lose connection to it. Because life gets loud and chaotic. You take on roles, responsibilities, and identities. You learn how to be who others need you to be. You start listening to voices that aren’t even yours from parents, peers, and past experiences. And, over time those voices get louder than your own.
But, your frequency is still there. You just have to get quiet enough to hear it.
It Begins with Stillness
You don’t find your frequency by doing more. You find it by slowing down and by creating space in your own mind for something real to come through.
Stillness isn’t about doing nothing…it’s about listening to your body, your intuition, and what comes up, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Because not everything that rises to the surface is going to feel good. Sometimes, it’s old hurt, old beliefs, and old voices telling you who you are or aren’t.
And this is where you’ll find the real work.
Becoming honest with yourself about what’s coming up and not pushing it away just because it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable.
Not All Voices in Your Head Are Truth
A lot of what we believe about ourselves didn’t start with us; it came from somewhere. And, those voices don’t just disappear, and they shouldn’t just be completely silenced. The goal here is to recognize them, and ask: Whose voice is that? And even more importantly: Why am I still listening to it?
There’s usually a payoff. Staying small can feel safer. Staying stuck can feel familiar. Even bitterness can feel like protection. But if you stay there too long, that’s the energy you put out into the world. And that’s the frequency you live in.
But good news, you have another option.
You can start strengthening a different voice, the one that’s actually YOURS. The one that knows your value. The one that isn’t rooted in fear. That takes practice, but it changes everything!
When You’re in Your Own Frequency, Things Shift
When you are operating from your own, unique frequency, you don’t have to force connection, prove yourself, or try so hard to fit in. Because when you’re fully being yourself, the right people will find you. The ones who see you, get you, and share your values. You find your people, your tribe, not by trying to belong everywhere, but by being authentic somewhere. And that only happens when you stop trying to be someone else. Because if you’re performing, it won’t align. But when you’re in your own frequency, it feels like home.
Doing the Inner Work
Doing the inner work isn’t surface level. It is the kind of work where you begin looking at what you’ve avoided.
What you don’t want to see about yourself.
What you’ve been carrying from the past.
What still needs your attention.
Your inner child holds a lot of that. And whether we acknowledge it or not, those earlier experiences shape how we show up in our present life.
Part of finding your frequency is going back, not to stay there, but to understand, recognize what actually happened, to separate what was yours from what wasn’t, and to take your power back.
Healing starts when you can say: That wasn’t about me, and then ask yourself: What do I need now to repair this?
It begins when you treat yourself with the same care, understanding, and support you once needed from someone else.
Let Your Emotions Move
Your emotions aren’t something to control or shut down. They’re information, and they move through you for a reason. When you allow them, process them, and understand them, they become part of your strength, not something that holds you back.
But when you ignore them or get stuck in them, especially things like anger, bitterness, or cynicism, they can start to define your frequency. And, that’s a hard place to live from.
So feel what comes up for you, process it, and then move forward.
Being in the World without Losing Yourself
You don’t exist in a vacuum. Part of this work is learning how to stay in your frequency while also being in relationship with others. That means…respecting shared spaces, acknowledging people, and leading with basic human kindness. It also means understanding that not everyone will meet you there.
Some people operate from ego, insecurity, and the need to feel superior or in control. And, some people may feel threatened when you start showing up more fully as yourself. Just know that is not yours to carry. You can see what’s happening without getting pulled into it. You can look at the darkness, but don’t stay there. Create spaces in your life where you can feel good, create, connect, and be supported.
Owning Who You Are
There’s a different kind of confidence that comes from being in your own frequency. It’s not loud. It’s not performative. It’s grounded. It’s the energy of walking into a room and not needing to be anyone other than yourself.
When you’re connected to who you are, you don’t shrink and overthink every move…you just are.
And that kind of presence speaks louder than anything you could try to project.
This Is a Daily Practice
Finding your frequency isn’t something you figure out once and then check off the list; it’s something you come back to every day. It lives in the moments when you slow down, pay attention, and notice when you’ve drifted away from yourself. It’s in the choices to let go of what no longer fits, to realign, and to move toward what actually feels good and true for you. And that’s the key…your frequency is tied to what brings you joy. The things that light you up, that make you feel like yourself, whether that shows up in your work, your relationships, or the quiet moments no one else sees. Some days it will feel clear and easy, and other days it won’t. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost it, it just means you’re in the practice of remembering and returning to who you really are.
This process isn’t meant to feel heavy. By taking a breath and being present you begin to realize that this space is where you’ll feel lighter, experience joy and to actually enjoy your life as you’re living it.
So maybe the real question isn’t complicated.
What makes you unique… and are you willing to bring more of that into your life?
Because your frequency isn’t something you earn, it’s something you return to. And the more you come back to it, the more natural it feels. This is ongoing work, but it’s the kind that changes everything.
About the Author
Dina Tulli Davis is a passionate, life purpose coach and light healer dedicated to helping individuals unlock their true potential and achieve their dreams. With two decades of experience in personal and spiritual development as well as personal brand coaching, Dina empowers her clients to overcome obstacles and live life on purpose. Her unique approach combines practical strategies with deep inner work to create lasting change.
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